Tuesday, October 28, 2008
Ryan's version of "Our Story"
Recently I asked Ryan to write our story for this blog. Here is his beautiful account of a God orchestrated journey...
Lack of faith, discontentment, striving, settling, wondering, seeking and finally abiding in His presence.
You hear it said when you stop seeking you find. Behind this thought contentment in the Lord reigns. Is it true? Can you find pure joy in the Lord? Is His word true? Does he fulfill the desires of your heart as you pursue and put Him first? Is it realistic to think a relationship with Him is more than enough?
Oh, the spirit of comparison settles in and tells you to hurry and step into a place where you appear normal to everyone.
After an amazing God encounter, I entered into a relationship with the Lord that I wouldn’t trade for anything in this world. The world has grown strangely dim, as I learn more of his plans for me to prosper in a dark world.
Beyond a shadow of doubt, the Lord led me to a place of worship, a round table and into a limited conversation with a woman named CamieLee. Her name was unique, profession was unclear in my mind, and her sweetness filled the air.
My thoughts didn’t stir because I wanted what He had in store for me. As time traveled on, I entered into a small group where I would learn more about this woman named CamieLee. The way she held herself, the words of wisdom which fell ever so carefully from her mouth, and how her natural beauty started to become more noticeable.
Days and a couple of months passed by and a breakfast date with friends triggered my heart to consider this woman in a new light. Was it my flesh or could it be my wait was coming to an end? Doubt. Fear. Anxiety. To escape these feelings is to give God the authority He deserves. Many hours later this piercing conviction of how amazing CamieLee was burst forth into a first date.
I had been praying for an accelerated relationship for months and I knew quite early in this relationship that she had something I didn’t know existed. She had a respect for me without change. Is it possible to be real with someone and still be accepted? Our relationship became about God and not ourselves. How are we going to serve Him with our lives?
A few more months were torn off the calendar and August thirtieth rolled around. My love for this woman had taken on a life of its own. Best friend. Constant support. Companion. Wife? This became the day I would be totally vulnerable and profess my true love for the woman I could no longer resist.
The day was painted by God himself. Blue skies. Warm sunbeams. Lush surroundings. We were on an oversized, architecturally sturdy bench at the location of our first date so many days before. As we sat and conversed about our day, my voice shook and my thoughts raced. It was finally time for me to grasp the artistically engraved symbol and ask for an everlasting commitment. Thoughts exchanged verbally. Smiles cracked. Tears masked. The ring was placed on her finger and we walked away hand-in-hand. Thank you Lord for allowing me to enter the next phase of my life with the woman I will always love.